One must wonder why in spite of writing colourful I stretched it to more or less. More or less because while being there and living every moment of it I was thrilled and at times you know sad and miserable and weird and all sorts of feelings kept coming up making me think in all kinds of directions and allowing me to form opinions about a load of things as they happened.For instance I still remember that there was a certain fear that developed within me for things that weren't quite big to other people but seemed big to me at least at that age, well whose to say I was just a small kid man, you really can't say or do much beyond that now right? So, to proceed with what I was getting at, these things while seemingly petty didn't have the kind of impact on my mother as they did on me you see. To exemplify it, when I was a kid I was horribly callous and really irresponsible, could not maintain the smallest of things that were given to me by my mother. Things like stationery and cricket balls and water bottles and what not. However, one peculiar incident that for completely unknown reasons is etched in my head is of this time when I used to go to Lions School and lost a lot like really a lot of erasers and pencils and sharpeners and almost all imaginable stationery a 7 or 8 year old could have. For obvious reasons it got to my mother really bad and hell was upon me that one day when I came back home and sat down to do my homework and she was teaching me how to draw a fish which is when she realized that I have lost yet another eraser and then, fuck!!! she just gave me the kitchen sink man, I think I have been beaten by her with almost everything be it footwear, broomstick, my cricket bat and of course her own hands for starters. Boy she really used to give me nightmares man and that is how I for simple reasons developed this fear around all these small things, but never could bring myself to be more careful about them, somehow no matter how much I tried I could not prevent misplacing all this stuff knowing the consequences extremely well on all occasions. Now, that I look back at it I feel that the mothers of today are a wee bit soft on their kids, trying to avoid physical punishment wherever possible, no man that's not the way, you are bringing up a soft kid someone who won't fully understand the meaning of consequences and will tend to have his way in almost everything, its important to know that everyone everywhere lives by certain rules even if they seem quite senseless and irrelevant to you but the truth is you have to learn to acknowledge their existence and with acknowledgement comes respect from within, something that is innate is more spontaneous and reflected than something that needs to be inculcated because the fact is that no matter how much and how many things you strive to inculcate within you, things that are quite innate with you will always stand out anywhere and everywhere. The simple reason being that such things are displayed in a lot more distinct and well, unique fashion as compared to the latter and that childhood there is just the right stage to transform it and make it innate trust me it is because later on, it just looks a tad bit artificial however strongly one may claim they show it.
Anyhow, I am no authority on upbringing but, when I see these kids and the fragile behaviour their parents exhibit, it makes me wonder if this world has gone too soft or something. I must also make a point here that upbringing these days in different places also creates monumental impact on a kid. I mean I don't have any kind of intention on classifying people here but such is the case that wherever you have spent your life your behaviour and everything else reflects it quite well you know. Before I go on to mention all the things I experienced or was a witness to during my childhood I will out rightly submit to the fact that parents who bring up their kids in a small city environment and then expose them to good quality education and everything else are kind of making mistakes because with this step they will build a bridge that they themselves will find the most difficult to cross and I am currently a victim of such a set of parents, such is the gap that sometimes I just feel that getting through to them was, is and will most definitely be a challenge I ought to win some day or the other.
I mean its no ordinary challenge that we are talking about here, its practically a battle I have been fighting for more than 22 years now, and it seems to me that the soldier has been wounded one too many times, but like every leader of a battalion says, "hit the enemy hard guys", I am not putting my folks in the context of an enemy or anything because I do love them, hell!! at the end of the day they are the reason I am on this freaking planet, but this very thing and all the other things of doing everything for your children does not give any parent the rightful authority of making their child obey to something they believe and he doesn't. To exemplify this in the form the most recent event that throws the maximum light to my approach here is an incident that took place exactly a week from today. My mom and my grand dad had just arrived from Mirzapur and as I had seen this coming my mother found out about the crazy diet that I had been following and out of the many other times, this time it just boiled down to circumstances I could not avoid and to be quite honest here I did not want to since I had seen this coming. I in my right mind decided to face this and deal with it and hoped to get it over with once and for all, so I gathered all the courage and tried my level best to explain to my mother that I had been following this diet plan for a reason, there was a goal I had in mind that I wished to fulfill in a certain duration of time. I tried telling her this, I even went to the extent of explaining this goal of mine to her, but then again I forgot that no matter however I tried putting things in front of her she just would not understand and I told her this and asked her that do you really think that you hold the capacity to understand what I am or about to say to you? to which she promptly responded that you already have assumed that I will not understand so what's the point telling me anyway. I was like, man! it's not that I doubt your understanding but please try and accept the fact that history has been an undeniable testament to this fact that I present in front of you, this same history that mocks you not me in the face and tells you that no you will not since you have not in the past understood it completely. Her only defense in all of this is a standalone statement that you don't know what you are doing, playing with your health is dangerous and I am quite sure you are old enough to observe the consequences of the same in our very own family. Yet, I stood my ground, characterize me as stubborn if you will but I always have and always will stand my ground if I know there is a goal I have set for myself and have a desire to achieve in the time frame I have decided upon. Still she went on and on about how kids my age are fascinated by such physical desires and tend to do all kinds of funny things to fulfill those desires not realizing what they are playing with. I mean common give me some credit here mom, I have done my bit of homework on this and it is something I just wish to see myself achieving or at least try to because even if I don't end up getting there I would be satisfied with the knowledge and understanding that I gave it my best and yet it didn't happen, at least it will bring peace to my mind knowing that I put every ounce of hard work in it to get there yet I did not and quite frankly I am mentally prepared to face that day of non - fulfillment of this personal goal, so what if I didn't make it man, I did try in the hardest possible way I could, I mean for christ sakes I have gone to the extent of giving medical excuses at work as to why I can't drink for a certain time, no fool tries to pull of such monkey tricks unless she/he has a personal motive attached to it. I refuse to be in a situation where there is such a wide gap of communication between me and my folks that no matter what I do I don't get through to them and I am willing to do what ever it takes to prove this wrong because this gap does not widen with age, we all have a choice so I say choose now and choose well because what we do in life echoes for eternity, it really does people.
Haha!! it seems as though I have drifted way too much from the topic of this post. My sincere apologies to that but what can I do when you are faced with such issues you don't really have an option but to express it as and when it comes to you plus it's my blog man, I can do and write what ever I want. I may give a topic that reads father issues and write about politics or sports or anything, but don't worry that's not what I intend on doing although I have started getting this feeling that all this time this is exactly what I am fucking doing. So to get back, my childhood was kind of a really really unforgettable one. I had such wonderful times with friends, family and all the lovely people I have met and remember so far in these 22 and half years. There were people like Cuckoo who were real chillers, he would come to our place in mission compound for dinners and lunches when I was a kid and would stay and chat us up and we would have a lovely time. Then there were times where all my friends like Upasana, Tulika, Dhruv, Divya, Sabrina, Anirudh (Now known as KV), Parvez, Rishabh, Farah, Afreen and many others would come for dinners and lunches and we would really have a good time. The one game I will never forget playing is this silly game called "Ghar Ghar". Oh! man the more I think of this game the more it dawns upon me how much it sucked to the very core, there were 4 of us (Upasana, Tulika, Rohit my brother and me) who used to play this game and there were just these really, really silly things that we used to do in that game like Rohit and Tulika were the same age so they acted like 1 married couple and Upasana and me were the same age so we acted like another couple and then we would invite them over to our place which by the way was a silly ass tree with all sorts of crap to make up for house objects and stuff like that, damn!! Then many a times Upasana would come to my place at mission compound for day long visits and I would make her play cricket with me wherein I would make her bowl for really long and surprisingly she did. Haha!! amazing it really was and then Rohit and me would take our bikes with Tulika and Upasana sitting behind for rides in that small town, all this sort of stuff. Then I would go to Upasana's place and chill with her the entire day, play with her dog Bruno, play video games, have lunch. I think the best time was when one of us hosted a birthday party, that was truly awesome, so many people would come and so may gifts they brought along and the cake and the loads of games we played at each others birthday party, starting from musical chairs to passing the parcel to balloon fight to treasure hunt to pin the donkey's tail and what not man, really cool party's we had and then even if it was not my birthday I would still get a gift for coming to someone's party as a return gift which was also pretty cool, I loved all of it. I wonder if these people I am talking about right now feel the same way I do because back then things and life was so much more simpler with lesser shit to think about and more fun things to do apart from going to school which I think every normal school kid dreads which seems like quite the usual thing to do at that point in time.
Anyhow, I am no authority on upbringing but, when I see these kids and the fragile behaviour their parents exhibit, it makes me wonder if this world has gone too soft or something. I must also make a point here that upbringing these days in different places also creates monumental impact on a kid. I mean I don't have any kind of intention on classifying people here but such is the case that wherever you have spent your life your behaviour and everything else reflects it quite well you know. Before I go on to mention all the things I experienced or was a witness to during my childhood I will out rightly submit to the fact that parents who bring up their kids in a small city environment and then expose them to good quality education and everything else are kind of making mistakes because with this step they will build a bridge that they themselves will find the most difficult to cross and I am currently a victim of such a set of parents, such is the gap that sometimes I just feel that getting through to them was, is and will most definitely be a challenge I ought to win some day or the other.
I mean its no ordinary challenge that we are talking about here, its practically a battle I have been fighting for more than 22 years now, and it seems to me that the soldier has been wounded one too many times, but like every leader of a battalion says, "hit the enemy hard guys", I am not putting my folks in the context of an enemy or anything because I do love them, hell!! at the end of the day they are the reason I am on this freaking planet, but this very thing and all the other things of doing everything for your children does not give any parent the rightful authority of making their child obey to something they believe and he doesn't. To exemplify this in the form the most recent event that throws the maximum light to my approach here is an incident that took place exactly a week from today. My mom and my grand dad had just arrived from Mirzapur and as I had seen this coming my mother found out about the crazy diet that I had been following and out of the many other times, this time it just boiled down to circumstances I could not avoid and to be quite honest here I did not want to since I had seen this coming. I in my right mind decided to face this and deal with it and hoped to get it over with once and for all, so I gathered all the courage and tried my level best to explain to my mother that I had been following this diet plan for a reason, there was a goal I had in mind that I wished to fulfill in a certain duration of time. I tried telling her this, I even went to the extent of explaining this goal of mine to her, but then again I forgot that no matter however I tried putting things in front of her she just would not understand and I told her this and asked her that do you really think that you hold the capacity to understand what I am or about to say to you? to which she promptly responded that you already have assumed that I will not understand so what's the point telling me anyway. I was like, man! it's not that I doubt your understanding but please try and accept the fact that history has been an undeniable testament to this fact that I present in front of you, this same history that mocks you not me in the face and tells you that no you will not since you have not in the past understood it completely. Her only defense in all of this is a standalone statement that you don't know what you are doing, playing with your health is dangerous and I am quite sure you are old enough to observe the consequences of the same in our very own family. Yet, I stood my ground, characterize me as stubborn if you will but I always have and always will stand my ground if I know there is a goal I have set for myself and have a desire to achieve in the time frame I have decided upon. Still she went on and on about how kids my age are fascinated by such physical desires and tend to do all kinds of funny things to fulfill those desires not realizing what they are playing with. I mean common give me some credit here mom, I have done my bit of homework on this and it is something I just wish to see myself achieving or at least try to because even if I don't end up getting there I would be satisfied with the knowledge and understanding that I gave it my best and yet it didn't happen, at least it will bring peace to my mind knowing that I put every ounce of hard work in it to get there yet I did not and quite frankly I am mentally prepared to face that day of non - fulfillment of this personal goal, so what if I didn't make it man, I did try in the hardest possible way I could, I mean for christ sakes I have gone to the extent of giving medical excuses at work as to why I can't drink for a certain time, no fool tries to pull of such monkey tricks unless she/he has a personal motive attached to it. I refuse to be in a situation where there is such a wide gap of communication between me and my folks that no matter what I do I don't get through to them and I am willing to do what ever it takes to prove this wrong because this gap does not widen with age, we all have a choice so I say choose now and choose well because what we do in life echoes for eternity, it really does people.
Haha!! it seems as though I have drifted way too much from the topic of this post. My sincere apologies to that but what can I do when you are faced with such issues you don't really have an option but to express it as and when it comes to you plus it's my blog man, I can do and write what ever I want. I may give a topic that reads father issues and write about politics or sports or anything, but don't worry that's not what I intend on doing although I have started getting this feeling that all this time this is exactly what I am fucking doing. So to get back, my childhood was kind of a really really unforgettable one. I had such wonderful times with friends, family and all the lovely people I have met and remember so far in these 22 and half years. There were people like Cuckoo who were real chillers, he would come to our place in mission compound for dinners and lunches when I was a kid and would stay and chat us up and we would have a lovely time. Then there were times where all my friends like Upasana, Tulika, Dhruv, Divya, Sabrina, Anirudh (Now known as KV), Parvez, Rishabh, Farah, Afreen and many others would come for dinners and lunches and we would really have a good time. The one game I will never forget playing is this silly game called "Ghar Ghar". Oh! man the more I think of this game the more it dawns upon me how much it sucked to the very core, there were 4 of us (Upasana, Tulika, Rohit my brother and me) who used to play this game and there were just these really, really silly things that we used to do in that game like Rohit and Tulika were the same age so they acted like 1 married couple and Upasana and me were the same age so we acted like another couple and then we would invite them over to our place which by the way was a silly ass tree with all sorts of crap to make up for house objects and stuff like that, damn!! Then many a times Upasana would come to my place at mission compound for day long visits and I would make her play cricket with me wherein I would make her bowl for really long and surprisingly she did. Haha!! amazing it really was and then Rohit and me would take our bikes with Tulika and Upasana sitting behind for rides in that small town, all this sort of stuff. Then I would go to Upasana's place and chill with her the entire day, play with her dog Bruno, play video games, have lunch. I think the best time was when one of us hosted a birthday party, that was truly awesome, so many people would come and so may gifts they brought along and the cake and the loads of games we played at each others birthday party, starting from musical chairs to passing the parcel to balloon fight to treasure hunt to pin the donkey's tail and what not man, really cool party's we had and then even if it was not my birthday I would still get a gift for coming to someone's party as a return gift which was also pretty cool, I loved all of it. I wonder if these people I am talking about right now feel the same way I do because back then things and life was so much more simpler with lesser shit to think about and more fun things to do apart from going to school which I think every normal school kid dreads which seems like quite the usual thing to do at that point in time.
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